I feel I should post this information before something bad happens and I'm cut short from everything. Am I anxious? Yes, I am. However, it's all within reason, considering what I've been through the past weeks alone.
I'm well aware that most have already heard that I've been having issues involving my neck. Well, the good news, is that I have insurance again. The bad news? The past few days lone, I have had severe issues walking around, and even standing. I guess I can try to describe it, but it feels like I can "pop" at any moment. The pain is somewhat there, yet even with the absence of pain, I feel utterly overwhelmed. Every time I rotate my arms, I feel the pressure spot "squelching" and even "beating" if I did any strenuous work or even a quick jog. The only true peace I have left is laying in-bed, and even then, that peace has become less and less common. I'm typing this at 4 AM, mind you. I never wanted to assume it was something because it would only make myself look like an insane hypocondriac that's humping WebMD's leg, but I've grown fearful of what it may actually be. It's part of the reason I never told anyone aside from a select few friends whom I cherish the most. Like I said, I never wanted to jump to conclusions, but I do know that any spinal chord injury in the cervical region can be very serious, and I would rather not take the chance.
That said, I'm not sure what to do. Daily chores have become a chore itself, and I'm questioning if I can even take commissions anymore, which is also very bad because I need income to help off with my connection. I know, it should be the least of my concerns, but that would also mean losing contact with all of my friends. The days have become more difficult to manage, and while I do have an appointment with my neurologist on the 31st, I question if I can even make it without running into major trouble. I'm even questioning if I should even go to the emergency room without being labelled a druggie or insane person. It's all become too tiring and frightening to me, and I honestly had enough of dealing with this... disease. If I had the energy, I'd be tearing up. I mean, I've been through a lot, and yet I feel lost and helpless. What should I do? What are my options?